Never Say Goodbye

So.

Today Roman Wild died.

I know this because my tweetstream is full of sad, tear-filled updates; because I read the spoilers a month or so ago and learned that would be his fate; because I knew the actor was leaving the show and had a feeling they'd be going in that direction rather than letting him head off to Hamburg for a seminar and never come home.

I know this, but I haven't seen it. I haven't watched Alles Was Zaehlt for months, and even when most of my online AWZ-friends were returning for the last story arc, I couldn't bring myself to join them.

TV deaths hit me hard, y'all.

I get invested in characters all the time. I follow their relationships and struggles, I worry about their choices, I connect to their hopes and dreams. If well written and acted, I'm *there*.

Which is why, when a beloved character is killed off on one of my shows, it guts me. I was a wreck when Reid was offed by a literal and figurative train wreck on ATWT; I still mourn for Ianto from Torchwood.

By all accounts, Roman's passing has been an incredible story arc, and I'm sure it doesn't suffer from Needless Death For Emotional Manipulation And Stupid Plotlines, as happened to Ianto and Reid. People who are watching are full of praise for the tour de force acting. I'm sure, if I could watch with a little more distance, I would be blown away by the skill invested in this final storyline.

But I don't have distance. I love Roman, with all his quirks and foibles and all-too-human weaknesses, with his strength and fierce determination and all-encompassing love for the people who matter to him. And I can't be there for this story now. Sometimes I wish I could. But then, if I could, I wouldn't be me, would I?

Best wishes to Dennis Grabosch, who created one of the most memorable characters I've ever seen on screen; kudos to Igor Dolgatschew for meeting him step by step along the way in a pairing that made both of them stronger actors.

And hugs and tissues for those who are watching. Maybe someday I'll be able to do the same.

The Story of "Hi Kate!"

If you've followed me on Twitter or friended me on Facebook, you may have noticed I don't use a picture of myself as my avatar. Instead, I use a rotating set of photos of hot guys holding a sign that says "Hi Kate".

And I've started getting questions about it - who are those guys? And how did you get those pictures, anyway?

The guys are soap actors from the US and Germany. Yes, all the pictures are real - no photoshopping required. And it all started with the Gays of our Lives fan event in NYC last spring. Though I wanted to go, it conflicted with a family vacation that had been in the works for a couple of years. Several online friends attended, though, including redcouchaddict.

So the event is in full swing, and I'm living vicariously through Twitter as the attendees post about what's happening. Suddenly, redcouchaddict has posted a link to a picture for me. I click on it, and there's Igor Dolgatschew, actor on Alles Was Zaehlt, a German soap, smiling and holding a sign with my name on it.

I may have flailed a bit.

By the end of the weekend, I had several pics, both of the actors in attendance and of my friends, most of whom I was 'seeing' for the first time through these pictures.

Since then, the "Hi Kate" photo collection has grown, both with actors (Eric Sheffer Stevens, Van Hansis, Jake Silbermann) and friends. But I'm always on the lookout for more. So here's the scoop:

If you want to be added to my "Hi Kate" gallery on my website, all you need to do is send me a picture of yourself with a "Hi Kate" sign. I'll add it in. Help make this the largest "Hi Kate!" collection around!

Over at Nine Naughty Novelists Today!

Stop on by Nine Naughty Novelists today - I'm chatting about my new favorite thing, the triangle on As The World Turns. :)

This could have something to do with the guy on the left. Rowr.

Anyway, the topic is OTP vs New Romance - What Do Writers Owe? I'd love to get your take on it!

Follow Me To Nine Naughty Novelists!

I'm blogging over at Nine Naughty Novelists today, talking about No Pain, No Gain. Stop by and find out how my Favorite German Soap helped me articulate what I love about romance novels!

Kate's New TV Crush - Dennis Grabosch and Igor Dolgatschew

I tried to choose just one TV crush for this post. Really, I did. But in the end, I couldn’t pick one of these two over the other. It was impossible, for several reasons.

1. The pairing. Dennis and Igor play Roman and Deniz (yes, yes, confusing at first, but you get over it quickly) on the German soap opera Alles Was Zӓhlt. Back in 2007, the characters became a couple, in what was widely considered one of the best pairings (and best coming-out storylines) around. Then, for some reason, Deniz was shoved back in the closet and dated women exclusively on the show. Fans were heartbroken. Even worse, they hardly got a chance to interact, with their storylines going in opposite directions. But last summer, their characters connected again, and they got back together. And, thankfully, the pairing was even stronger than ever.

2. The writing. DeRo 2.0, as the reunion is called in the fandom, was one of the most amazing pieces of TV writing I've ever seen. The writers managed to take two characters who had been badly damaged by the ending of their first romance and made a reunion not just believable but inevitable. The story played out over several months, taking the time to explore the reasons they didn't work out the first time, the growth in both characters, the pain and mistrust they needed to get past, and their new connection based on honesty, maturity, and true love (not just soap-styled lust masquerading as love). Threads from years-old storylines were woven in to make a tapestry that brought everything full circle. It was fabulous.

3. The acting. Since discovering AWZ, I've consistently maintained that Dennis Grabosch is one of the finest actors working today. I have yet to see a false note in any of his performances. They're always honest, subtle, and pitch-perfect. (Note to Hollywood – WHY haven't you snatched this man up yet? He speaks English, too, for heaven's sake!) But Igor's performance during this new reunion storyline absolutely astonished me. He managed to convince even the most diehard Deniz-haters that these two deserved to be together. Over the course of those months, he transformed a character that had previously been written as somewhat shallow and self-involved and made him sympathetic, mature, and a fit partner for Roman. And again, it was the subtlety of the work that stood out. It would have been so easy to project "lovesick" and "despondent" and "ecstatic" with overdone expressions and line readings. Instead, he stuck with the quiet moments that conveyed those same emotions but in a more honest, heartwrenching way.

For Example: Episode 772. This episode really highlights the talent these two actors bring to the table. But pay attention to the last minute and a half. When Roman stops Deniz from leaving, at the bar? The expression on Deniz's face is absolutely perfect for the moment. Not overblown, not "acting", but honest, heartbreaking, and beautiful.

4. The chemistry. Both characters have been paired with others on the show (Deniz more than Roman, which boggles the mind), but their chemistry with other partners is not even close to what they have together. It's off the charts. And that holds true whether their characters are in love, in hate, or in between. Even a glance between them during the Dark Years (yes, another fandom term - the time period after the break up and before they became friends again, let alone partners) was fraught with tension and sparks. It's that little extra something that takes the characters beyond a good pairing and lifts them head and shoulders above.

5. The shallow. Uhm, have you LOOKED at them? Rowr.

So it was impossible to narrow my TV crush down to just one guy. Sorry, Igor and Dennis, you'll just have to share.

For more on Igor, Dennis and AWZ:

Watch Eskimo Kiss Project on You Tube (episode clips subtitled in English)

Visit the RTL website

Dennis Grabosch's website

Igor Dolgatschew's website

Meet them in person at the Gays of our Lives event in NYC, March 26-28!

Entertainment Weekly - the sequel!

My issue of Entertainment Weekly finally showed up in the mail today, so I thought I'd post a scan of the letters page:

And here's the letter itself, AKA, I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille...

And even though they trimmed it quite a bit, I think my message came through fairly well. Have a great weekend!

My 15 Minutes Start Now

I'm in Entertainment Weekly!

Okay, yes, it's a letter to the editor, but everyone's got to start somewhere, right?

I'll have the scan up later, but in the meantime, here's the letter they printed:

It's unfortunate that soaps are teetering on the on the brink just as they are becoming more poular overseas. Thanks to the internet, fans around the world are enjoying and discussing soap storylines, particularly those featuring gay couples such as Luke and Noah from ATWT and Kyle and Oliver on OLTL. Perhaps the powers that be should focus on finding a way to tap into that audience.

So how, exactly, did I end up in EW with a letter about international fans of gay storylines in US soaps? Uhm, that's a pretty good question.

A couple of weeks ago EW ran an article on soap operas, illustrated by a graphic of a cemetery, showing all the "deceased" soaps – and an open grave for One Life to Live, the soap widely assumed to be next on the chopping block.

I got a little peeved.

Like I said in the letter, there's an untapped viewer pool out there, and I so wish the powers that be would try to find a way to access it.

International fans.

It used to be that people could only watch soaps in their country of origin. German fans watched German soaps, US fans watched US soaps, UK viewers … okay, you get the picture. But now, thanks to the wonders of the internet, fans are being created all over the world.

And one of the biggest fandoms around for soaps is gay storylines. There's Kyle and Oliver Fish (Kish) on One Life to Live. Luke and Noah (Nuke) on As The World Turns. Both of these pairings are popular around the world, with fans connecting through the internet to watch, discuss, and enjoy the storylines. There was even a fan event held in France last year for Nuke fans (the actors even attended!).

Going the other direction, fans in the US watch German, Spanish, Welsh, even Dutch soaps that have been painstakingly clipped, translated, and uploaded onto the internet. In the fandom I've connected to, Alles Was Zaehlt, thousands of fans all over the world watch the uploaded videos on Eskimo Kiss Project, a joint venture of three women who live in Canada, the US and New Zealand. Conversations in the comments fly fast and furious after every episode, with people weighing in from around the globe.

So why don't these soap operas look beyond their borders to figure out how to tap into this enthusiastic fan base? If I lived in Germany, I could buy a subscription to the production company's website and watch the episodes a day early. But that option isn't available outside the country. Why not? (Again, my old nemesis geographical restrictions rears its ugly head.)

There's even a convention being held in New York City at the end of March, Gays of our Lives, which is bringing together actors from three different German soaps, plus several US soap actors.



People are flying into NY from all over the world to meet the actors – and each other. Wouldn't it be nice if the people in charge of the soap operas would think outside the box and find a way to access this fan base? Who knows, maybe it could be enough to save soaps after all.