Never Say Goodbye

So.

Today Roman Wild died.

I know this because my tweetstream is full of sad, tear-filled updates; because I read the spoilers a month or so ago and learned that would be his fate; because I knew the actor was leaving the show and had a feeling they'd be going in that direction rather than letting him head off to Hamburg for a seminar and never come home.

I know this, but I haven't seen it. I haven't watched Alles Was Zaehlt for months, and even when most of my online AWZ-friends were returning for the last story arc, I couldn't bring myself to join them.

TV deaths hit me hard, y'all.

I get invested in characters all the time. I follow their relationships and struggles, I worry about their choices, I connect to their hopes and dreams. If well written and acted, I'm *there*.

Which is why, when a beloved character is killed off on one of my shows, it guts me. I was a wreck when Reid was offed by a literal and figurative train wreck on ATWT; I still mourn for Ianto from Torchwood.

By all accounts, Roman's passing has been an incredible story arc, and I'm sure it doesn't suffer from Needless Death For Emotional Manipulation And Stupid Plotlines, as happened to Ianto and Reid. People who are watching are full of praise for the tour de force acting. I'm sure, if I could watch with a little more distance, I would be blown away by the skill invested in this final storyline.

But I don't have distance. I love Roman, with all his quirks and foibles and all-too-human weaknesses, with his strength and fierce determination and all-encompassing love for the people who matter to him. And I can't be there for this story now. Sometimes I wish I could. But then, if I could, I wouldn't be me, would I?

Best wishes to Dennis Grabosch, who created one of the most memorable characters I've ever seen on screen; kudos to Igor Dolgatschew for meeting him step by step along the way in a pairing that made both of them stronger actors.

And hugs and tissues for those who are watching. Maybe someday I'll be able to do the same.

Have a Question for Kate?

Happy Monday, all!

I've just agreed to do a guest blog post, which will go up next month. One of the options is an interview format, where I can pick questions to answer about writing, life, whatever I want.

But I stink at coming up with questions, so I'm opening it up to you first - what do you want to know about me? Post your questions in the comments, and I'll grab a few for the interview!

*****

And on a completely unrelated note, I've signed up for Kindlegraph, a cool new service that provides autographs for your Kindle titles. (No, I won't be writing on your screen with a sharpie.) It's free, so if you've ever wanted a signed Kindle ebook cover for one of my titles, head on over here to request one.

*****

Another unrelated note! (I seem to have a surplus of them today, LOL) Last week, the German TV production company RTL started enforcing its copyright claim, which resulted in the closure of some YouTube channels which had been translating, subtitling, and posting clips of its shows for an international audience. One of the main shows was Alles Was Zaehlt, the German soap I watched for a couple of years via YouTube (since I don't speak German). That first channel, EskimoKissProject, was spared the purge, on request of one of the actors. He's asked that they be allowed to translate and post his final story arc on the show, as it was their translation and subtitling work that first brought him (and the show) an international audience.

They're being given the chance to do just that, but once the story arc has ended, so will their channel, along with all the videos (hundreds of them!) that they've created over the years. If you haven't been introduced to Roman and Deniz, I'd recommend you take a peek now before it's too late. http://eskimokissproject.wordpress.com/2011/08/04/867/

As for the final story arc, well, let's just say there are spoilers out there for those who want to know, and they aren't too hard to find. :)

Welcome 2011!

Wow, that was one crazy year, wasn't it?

It's still hard to believe we've made it past Christmas, let alone all the way into 2011. I'm still working on my to-do list from January of last year!

But it's time to dust off, tidy up, take stock, and start looking forward again.

So without further ado, here's KATE'S 2010 IN REVIEW:

January:
Had letter published in Entertainment Weekly. Who knew that by the end of the year, I'd be *interviewing* the stars of the soaps I'd been fangirling way back then?

February:
Posted a new Current TV Crush, Dennis Grabosch and Igor Dolgatschew. Became known as the Infamous DeRo Pusher.

March:
Went to Hawaii. Whee!

April:
Went to Ohio for the Romantic Times convention, where I received the Reviewer's Choice Award for Best Small Press Romance. Still amazed and thrilled at that one. Met LB Gregg and a host of other fabulous, wonderful writers, and had a great time.

May:
New Current TV Crush: Eric Sheffer Stevens. This is significant, just in case you haven't read the blog/followed me on Twitter/friended me on Facebook/listened to me babble in real life.

June/July:
Sold a new book to Samhain, which comes out in February. Did a lot of camping with the family.

August:
Prepping for new school year, working on new manuscript.

September:
Complained about the ending to As The World Turns. Blog post went minorly viral, which was a bit of a thrill.

October:
Celebrated my birthday by starting a new "career" as interviewer of people in the performing arts. My first interview, with Parrish Hurley, focused on the creative process and his journey to produce a TV pilot, 'the (718)'. It was linked on AfterElton, which was another thrill. I also interviewed James Yaegashi, director of Lefty Loosey Righty Tighty.


November:
Easily my most surreal month. After weeks of biting my tongue to keep from blabbing, I finally got to spill the news - I'd asked Eric Sheffer Stevens for an interview, and he'd said yes! So in six short months, I'd gone from random fangirl to talking on the phone with my favorite actor for almost an hour. It was an amazing experience, and I learned a lot. Plus, that interview went viral too, which was so fantastic!

December:
Got my bookcover, finished final edits, started polishing up a new trilogy idea, and celebrated the holidays with those nearest and dearest.

What's coming up in 2011:
A new book in February. Hopefully, some new manuscripts written and new contracts signed. At least one new interview (yes, it's a definite, no, I'm not telling who it is yet). A new Current TV Crush (if you follow me on Twitter you can guess what show the crush is from - LOL). And, if this year is anything like last year, a whole bunch of experiences I couldn't even begin to imagine now.

Here's wishing you an amazing year ahead as well!

Kate's New TV Crush - Dennis Grabosch and Igor Dolgatschew

I tried to choose just one TV crush for this post. Really, I did. But in the end, I couldn’t pick one of these two over the other. It was impossible, for several reasons.

1. The pairing. Dennis and Igor play Roman and Deniz (yes, yes, confusing at first, but you get over it quickly) on the German soap opera Alles Was Zӓhlt. Back in 2007, the characters became a couple, in what was widely considered one of the best pairings (and best coming-out storylines) around. Then, for some reason, Deniz was shoved back in the closet and dated women exclusively on the show. Fans were heartbroken. Even worse, they hardly got a chance to interact, with their storylines going in opposite directions. But last summer, their characters connected again, and they got back together. And, thankfully, the pairing was even stronger than ever.

2. The writing. DeRo 2.0, as the reunion is called in the fandom, was one of the most amazing pieces of TV writing I've ever seen. The writers managed to take two characters who had been badly damaged by the ending of their first romance and made a reunion not just believable but inevitable. The story played out over several months, taking the time to explore the reasons they didn't work out the first time, the growth in both characters, the pain and mistrust they needed to get past, and their new connection based on honesty, maturity, and true love (not just soap-styled lust masquerading as love). Threads from years-old storylines were woven in to make a tapestry that brought everything full circle. It was fabulous.

3. The acting. Since discovering AWZ, I've consistently maintained that Dennis Grabosch is one of the finest actors working today. I have yet to see a false note in any of his performances. They're always honest, subtle, and pitch-perfect. (Note to Hollywood – WHY haven't you snatched this man up yet? He speaks English, too, for heaven's sake!) But Igor's performance during this new reunion storyline absolutely astonished me. He managed to convince even the most diehard Deniz-haters that these two deserved to be together. Over the course of those months, he transformed a character that had previously been written as somewhat shallow and self-involved and made him sympathetic, mature, and a fit partner for Roman. And again, it was the subtlety of the work that stood out. It would have been so easy to project "lovesick" and "despondent" and "ecstatic" with overdone expressions and line readings. Instead, he stuck with the quiet moments that conveyed those same emotions but in a more honest, heartwrenching way.

For Example: Episode 772. This episode really highlights the talent these two actors bring to the table. But pay attention to the last minute and a half. When Roman stops Deniz from leaving, at the bar? The expression on Deniz's face is absolutely perfect for the moment. Not overblown, not "acting", but honest, heartbreaking, and beautiful.

4. The chemistry. Both characters have been paired with others on the show (Deniz more than Roman, which boggles the mind), but their chemistry with other partners is not even close to what they have together. It's off the charts. And that holds true whether their characters are in love, in hate, or in between. Even a glance between them during the Dark Years (yes, another fandom term - the time period after the break up and before they became friends again, let alone partners) was fraught with tension and sparks. It's that little extra something that takes the characters beyond a good pairing and lifts them head and shoulders above.

5. The shallow. Uhm, have you LOOKED at them? Rowr.

So it was impossible to narrow my TV crush down to just one guy. Sorry, Igor and Dennis, you'll just have to share.

For more on Igor, Dennis and AWZ:

Watch Eskimo Kiss Project on You Tube (episode clips subtitled in English)

Visit the RTL website

Dennis Grabosch's website

Igor Dolgatschew's website

Meet them in person at the Gays of our Lives event in NYC, March 26-28!

My 15 Minutes Start Now

I'm in Entertainment Weekly!

Okay, yes, it's a letter to the editor, but everyone's got to start somewhere, right?

I'll have the scan up later, but in the meantime, here's the letter they printed:

It's unfortunate that soaps are teetering on the on the brink just as they are becoming more poular overseas. Thanks to the internet, fans around the world are enjoying and discussing soap storylines, particularly those featuring gay couples such as Luke and Noah from ATWT and Kyle and Oliver on OLTL. Perhaps the powers that be should focus on finding a way to tap into that audience.

So how, exactly, did I end up in EW with a letter about international fans of gay storylines in US soaps? Uhm, that's a pretty good question.

A couple of weeks ago EW ran an article on soap operas, illustrated by a graphic of a cemetery, showing all the "deceased" soaps – and an open grave for One Life to Live, the soap widely assumed to be next on the chopping block.

I got a little peeved.

Like I said in the letter, there's an untapped viewer pool out there, and I so wish the powers that be would try to find a way to access it.

International fans.

It used to be that people could only watch soaps in their country of origin. German fans watched German soaps, US fans watched US soaps, UK viewers … okay, you get the picture. But now, thanks to the wonders of the internet, fans are being created all over the world.

And one of the biggest fandoms around for soaps is gay storylines. There's Kyle and Oliver Fish (Kish) on One Life to Live. Luke and Noah (Nuke) on As The World Turns. Both of these pairings are popular around the world, with fans connecting through the internet to watch, discuss, and enjoy the storylines. There was even a fan event held in France last year for Nuke fans (the actors even attended!).

Going the other direction, fans in the US watch German, Spanish, Welsh, even Dutch soaps that have been painstakingly clipped, translated, and uploaded onto the internet. In the fandom I've connected to, Alles Was Zaehlt, thousands of fans all over the world watch the uploaded videos on Eskimo Kiss Project, a joint venture of three women who live in Canada, the US and New Zealand. Conversations in the comments fly fast and furious after every episode, with people weighing in from around the globe.

So why don't these soap operas look beyond their borders to figure out how to tap into this enthusiastic fan base? If I lived in Germany, I could buy a subscription to the production company's website and watch the episodes a day early. But that option isn't available outside the country. Why not? (Again, my old nemesis geographical restrictions rears its ugly head.)

There's even a convention being held in New York City at the end of March, Gays of our Lives, which is bringing together actors from three different German soaps, plus several US soap actors.



People are flying into NY from all over the world to meet the actors – and each other. Wouldn't it be nice if the people in charge of the soap operas would think outside the box and find a way to access this fan base? Who knows, maybe it could be enough to save soaps after all.

Interview: Eskimo Kiss Project

Today, the lovely ladies of Eskimo Kiss Project have graciously agreed to be interviewed for my blog. Thanks for joining us, EKP!

(Who's EKP, you ask? Just about the best You Tube channel out there. Since starting to post clips from Alles Was Zahlt back in November of 08, they've managed to upload over three hundred videos, all edited, subtitled, and hilariously described by Lilith, Aldi and Shelly. I stumbled on their videos a few months back, and have thoroughly enjoyed their work -- and truly enjoyed getting to know them better through this interview.)

1. Which came first – the friendship, or the show? Did you three know each other before you discovered AWZ, or did you connect because you loved the show? And how did you first become aware of the Roman/Deniz storyline on AWZ?

The two kind of nurtured and fed off each other. Like some really scary obsessy time-chomping plant, only, uhm, nicer. We discovered the storyline via similar endeavours on YouTube, like the Christian/Oliver pairing on Verbotene Liebe. In fact, it was a persistent VL friend who first foisted “this other gay German soap couple” on us. Other channels had been generous enough to post the Deniz/Roman storyline, but we discovered that the show’s infamous theme song was right and we “can’t ever get enough” – we wanted more of the storylines and characters surrounding Deniz and Roman. This couple doesn't exist in a vacuum, and we found the community and its reactions to them equally intriguing and endearing. And so we delved headfirst into our active obsession with EKP and haven’t stopped since. (We suspect that if we ever do, we’ll need a patch!) But to get back to your original question, yes, we first connected through our love for the show but quickly became really close friends. We’re lucky enough to be pretty much all on the same wavelength of crazy, which is really a necessity when you spend so much time in each other’s (virtual) hair.

2. Where did you get the name "eskimokissproject"? Are there any other shorthand names/titles/phrases that people might like to know before delving into the world of Roman/Deniz fandom?

The name comes from a brief but legendary moment in the landmark episode 299, where the boys share an affectionate noserub while giggling on the ice. It’s small moments like this that endeared this show to us so much – as ever, the devil’s in the details, and details like that (natural, spontaneous, and lovely) made the characters really come alive. As for other phrases and names, oh, they are legion, from [Angry Turkish], which we insert when Deniz's dad rants, to "Asshole=I love you" referring to Roman's tendency to tell Deniz what an infuriating yet irresistible tool he is. And we’re still quite fond of our original tagline, “My parents had to flee to Asia!” That was on the screenshot of our first ever video and has since become both a synonym for “hare-brained yet hilarious plot we must cover” and an acceptable response in all sorts of social situations. You’d be amazed how many scenarios it fits.

3. If I remember correctly, you don't live in close proximity. Where do you hail from, and how does that work when putting together the clips for YouTube?

The EKP Brain was born of the frozen tundra. Split into three parts by an evil Steinkampian plot, the Brainthirds were cast adrift, settling in the United States, Canada, and New Zealand. In terms of doing the clips, it’s really no problem, since none of us actually pay any attention to such silliness as normal hours, night/day distinctions, the time/space continuum, etc. Technology is a beautiful thing. So is mind-melding.

4. Describe your work on a typical episode. How do you put it together?

AWZ airs at 7:05pm in Germany, which is 1:05pm for Lil and Shelly and crazy pre-dawn silly time for Aldi. So work begins with buckets of coffee and an AIM chatroom, where we watch the episode on the RTL site, flailing/grumbling/yawning as appropriate and figuring out how much of the episode we want to cover. Aldi (the only one of us who actually knows German) works up clipping cues, Lil edits the episode, then Aldi translates/subtitles the edited clip, and Shelly puts it all together and forcefeeds it to YouTube (which may or may not cooperate). Somewhere among all that, we scramble to piece together a description (early drafts often run along the lines of “OMG WHAT” and “SQUEEEEEEE” and “WTF Show!”).

5. How do you manage to get the clips posted so quickly? I'm very impressed.

Thank you! It's all due to magic and coffee, with a healthy dose of obsession. Fortunately we all work out of our homes so we can be, uhm, creative with our time.

6. Recently, a hotly-anticipated episode was clicked on so much in the first few minutes after you posted, it managed to break the internets for a little while. Were you surprised at its popularity?

Very! First we thought it was a technical glitch, then we found out we were being overrun and descended into fits of incredulous hilarity. For the record, that particular episode was well worth the fuss. ;) [Note from Kate: I totally agree!]

7. Did you ever expect your work to get such a rabid following on YouTube?

We really didn't. This started just for us – a fun project among friends that we figured others might enjoy, too. We’ve been doing this for less than a year and were surprised to get 1000 subscribers so quickly. Now that we're pushing 2000, we're beside ourselves! Soon we’ll need to put out ads for -slaves- staff or something.

8. What's the best part of working on eskimokissproject? What's toughest?

Best? Sharing the awesome flailing moments, both with each other and then again once we post. Worst? Either waiting by our empty mailboxes for the paycheques from RTL that never come or inexplicable cravings for fries at odd hours of the night.

9. Did you have a hard time keeping the faith during the dark years?

Shared pain is better. We found hidden gems like Killer Virus (episodes 439-443), which turned out to be puzzlingly fabulous despite the cracky premise. And really, the darkness is part of what we love. Besides, there were always past days of glorious storylines to revisit, and now there’s even current awesomesauce going on. Having waited and suffered and moaned through the “dark years” and stubbornly clung to hope where there was none, we feel we’ve got a better appreciation for the good stuff. Or hey, perhaps we’ve just gone mental and made it all up!

10. One of my favorite parts of your eskimokissproject channel is the descriptions you write for each episode. I've found myself cutting-and-pasting paragraphs to friends who don't even follow DeRo, just because they're so hilariously well-written. What other writing do you do? Where can readers find it?

We're all fanfic writers, and dabble in original projects, too, although by necessity that gets backburnered when EKP is really busy. When we first got into this show, we produced a bunch of English-language DeRo fanfic, which can be found at http://delicious.com/awzfanfic but, erm… mind the ratings. None of these are exactly fluffy or innocent. ;)

11. Is there anything I didn't ask that you wish I had? Anything you'd like to add to this interview?

There’s an endless amount of joy in sharing this lovely, insane and occasionally infuriating creation with our equally lovely and insane viewers, but the fact is that there would be nothing to share if it wasn’t for a team of brilliant creative brains halfway across the world who work on making this show every day. So a big thanks to the creators, writers, directors and actors of AWZ, who we curse and slag off daily and with gusto but whom we also adore. Keep up the awesome! (And give us a zombie plot!)